#3 Not This

When two simple words are enough to change direction

I remember being young and fresh in New England after breaking free from the trappings of a childhood in the south.

I remember feeling anxious, not knowing what was going to happen next but knew damn well I was moving towards something. What, I didn’t know.

‘Not this’ was all I needed to begin. Those two simple words ping ponged me away from the familiar onto a path that for decades would fork, brake, merge and realign towards the person I was meant to become all along.

I wanted a life that fit like a glove.

But the glove keeps changing.

Perhaps the goal is to embrace shape-shifting, not in ways that are expected, rather towards new molds right for this time, this place.

So, what is that now? What are the boxes I’ve yet to check, challenges I’ve yet to overcome? When I look back on life what will signify a life well lived?

Early in my career I traveled across dozens of countries as a photojournalist, spoke with countless people in a myriad of cultural experiences and different languages only to realize the greatest journey is going inward. Quieting the noise. Listening to what resonates. Being me.

“Not this” continues to whisper, although now it’s become “this.”

This is what I’m meant to do in this moment — write on Substack.

This is what I need to savor — a beautiful life with a loving husband and three remarkable children.

This is what continues to fill me up — connecting humans through visual stories.

This is what I must become — the person I was meant to be all along.